I feel

I feel calmer around you.
that i am strong.
I am NOT my past.
my past is just a part of me
That makes me appreciate the future.

There it is...I can wait for it now.

It grows.
silently.
I can feel it, everyday
it is there a little longer.
Right there, almost with in
reach.


So soothing, a beautiful sight.


it's me. the strong me. the me i loved.
The me others loved.
soon it will be there all day
Everyday of every week.
until then I can wait.
Cause atleast I know it's there.

Timeless

i am looking

over and under

all over for you

i am desperate for more of you

i can not get what I need to get done

Not without you

Can i have just a little more?

Why do some waste so much of you

Others never have enough

Why is short for the ones who deserve more?

To long for those who don't?

Just please give me more Time

Hope

~Though hope is frail~

~It's hard to kill~

I always have hope for you.

that you will do what it takes.

be the way you should be

to earn that title

what title?

Mom.

I know you are more than a mom.

i try to look at your choices from a woman's point

just even a human

I CANT UNDERSTAND

How many times can you go down this path?

How many of your children do you need to tell you with their tears it is hurting them?

how many people need to try to tell you how to fix it before you learn it is broken?

you would think with as many times as you have stood at this point you would know how to prevent it, how to fix it, how to see it coming,

why?

why?

you are killing their childhood, their faith in you, their innocence.

Did my stories of my point of view of the past do nothing?

I just know, we know

you can be so much more, I ALWAYS HOPE that you will see your potential through my eyes

that of a successful woman

an adult

a mother

a sister

your eldest daughter

even though you have let me down, the kids down, I still have that one thing

that thing you can not kill with the insanity of the same actions every year

every decade

every generation you are putting through the current issues you're facing

what is it?

MY HOPE

Foggy Today

I know I want to say something
But what?

I can just feel the words on the tip of my tongue
waiting to go out onto this blankness
longing to speak
ears waiting to hear

Foggy
that is how I am today


It has been a week since I posted and I had no clue what to write. It is funny that about 5 of the blogs I like to read are all saying the same thing. I had a great time in Dublin and I shall post some wonderful pictures soon of the Castle. Dulbin is not the green Ireland we all think of. But I will just have to go back again and again to capture that huh?

I hope you all had a great Week.. I will get back on the proper flow again soon.

Luv
B

????

Who are you?
You stare at me as If I should know you
I think I know you,
are you me?
Are you what I used to be?
Or maybe what I long to be?

I long for us to know each other again
To be able to talk,
not the silent pleading.
Really talk
Can we?
How?
You
and
Me


Take my hand
Off we go

to become
not
you
or
me
but we.




I was just sitting listening to this lovely artist I found called Neko Case, she is like a mix between Alsion Krausse and Mazzy Star,and a lil of Janice Joplin to me. I added her to my playlist. For all I know you could be listening to her now. Well I started to look at pics, then the a.d.d in me kicked in and started to read old journals. WOW...what a trip. So that is where that lil poem or blurb comes from. It comes from me poking around in my head..my head of the past, now and then looking towards the future. i hope I can stay on this path I am currently on. I long to get away from the large girl, the accept it gal. I want to be the healthly, fit, take charge I deserve the best girl. I think I am getting there. Stayed tuned maybe you can open the curtains with me.

~B~