I feel

I feel calmer around you.
that i am strong.
I am NOT my past.
my past is just a part of me
That makes me appreciate the future.

There it is...I can wait for it now.

It grows.
silently.
I can feel it, everyday
it is there a little longer.
Right there, almost with in
reach.


So soothing, a beautiful sight.


it's me. the strong me. the me i loved.
The me others loved.
soon it will be there all day
Everyday of every week.
until then I can wait.
Cause atleast I know it's there.

Women's Calendar

A very dear friend of mine, got me a great 2010 desk calendar. It is famous quotes, by only women. I loove it. I love it so much. It is wonderful to start the day off by reading something a fellow gal has said. They are all famous for different reasons, each month seems to have a different theme. This weekend's one got to me. So very true.

" I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispostions and not on our circumstances"
~ Martha Washington


it really hit home with me. for several reasons.

I have been through some stuff in my life, that is all I will say. But when I start to experience rough stuff or stressful stuff the past year or two. I get so down on myself. How did I handle the past stuff so smoothly? Why don't I have the patience I had to handle the 3 kids? I use to do it without the experience I have now.

This quote says it all to me, if I feel I can not handle it..then that is why these similar circumstances are hitting me harder. This makes me want to dig more into myself...be happier with my strength. Anyways just wanted to make this a quick and short post. I hope if you read this quote and have anything similar going through head..it can help you too. If you want the name of the calendar it is. " Words of Wisdom for Women",Avalanche Publishing.

Broken Record?

Do you ever feels as if you're a CD? That you don't choose what track you're on? Someone is playing you, deciding what track you should be on at that moment? I do. I especially feel as if sometimes I'm repeat. That I can almost hear the next track, the lyrics are right on the tip of my tongue, however, what it will take for me to skip ahead, to finally get to the next song? I don't know. I am still searching though, seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe one day soon, my next song will start to play.

Where did I go?

I need to fix this, get my juices flowing again. I have been on a break obviously.=)

But now I am taking a break, to re vamp this up, find my focus on it. Get in a balance of my personal life(my husband, school, work and my siblings/kids) and my me time.

I have lost some readers because of me being gone, feel like I lost the flow of some amazing peoples blogs and where their life is going. So here is the to the next few months of getting that all back and then some.

I hope your 2010 has started off grandly. Please, please stay tuned.

Thankful

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

-Mark Twain-

i am thankful for continue to be able to breathe every morning when I wake up

thankful for having a job and people who care about me.

thankful that we can buy food and share it with our friends tommorow on Thanksigiving.

thankful that I am learning more about myself and accepting my faults.

Here are just some more things I have noticed lately ..with me my life and all that boring jazz

1. that i do not have the patience i used to, nor the patience i long to have.


2.I can do anything I set my mind to, like loosing this weight(been lossing steadly), adjust to 3 kids and provide for them the way they deserve(with help from the most spectacular hubby ever).


3. that i am sick of the word awesome. i feel that i use it to much. so trying new ones like spectacular, amazing, stupendous. =)


4. I am truly one blessed person for the people that I have the great luck to have in my life and be able to call them loved ones.


5.i am really missing my photography


6. I have no clue how mom's do it, time for their kids, their work, school, their partner then themselves. I have yet to learn that balance


7.my roots hate me. they really need a serious dye job and my hair needs a trim. oh and i have white hair coming in. eeek.


8. Life is all about choices, That is the simplicty of it all. You can make a choice and stick to it, or choose not to. It is all a choice.


9. my tolerance for the close minded, rude, immature jerks of this word has slowly whittled down to nothing. i wish my lord would give me strength to get it back. that way i might be less annoyed with them all.


10. My husband rocks.


11. a girl always needs her friends.


12. A lot of kids slip through the cracks and I wish I could focus on them all. But when I have 30 kids all needing to be supervised and helped it is hard.


13. i still have the same horrible study habits i had when in hs. i need to quickly get out of that since i am paying for the classes and really focus if i want that deans list


14. That some how, once again I am right back where I was in a certain friendship. Well no longer one. That I am again cut out so efficently, so quickly, did I matter? What did I really do? Why did you search me out, long to re connect? I had gotten over the betrayl, I had gotten over not having you as a friend...you just like to try to get what you do not have?


15.quailty is truly so much better than quainty. i hope to be able to teach these middle schoolers that.and myself


16.Orange and Teal look great together. In a bold, almost hurt you sort of way. I like it. A LOT.

17. I really am annoyed with miltary shipping. yet realize I should be thankful that I have it

18. Halloween with kids is waaay more fun.

19. My little siblings rock. Seriously they are amazing lil people.

19. I think I could pull off short, straight black hair. If my Flapper Girl pictures are anything to go by that is.

20. That i would not truly want to deal with having to straighten my hair every morning for the short hair do

21. That it is much easier to just follow people and read their words then take the time to write your own or comment on theirs..and THAT IT IS RUDE..to do that.

22. I am just a big kid who is so excited for Christmas that I am already humming carols.

Life

How on the sunniest of days can I be so blind?
yet in the darkest of the night i have never seen better?
How can I be sad when I should be happy
or
fine when I should be mad?
One word ties all these emotions together

LIFE

Because that is the rollar coaster we all ride called life. It is the best nightmare, the happiest curse, a ride I am thankful to be having and sharing with those that I am.

I am blessed for this life..even with all the bumps and pit stops.

I hope your ride is such as crazily wonderful.

~Bridgette~