Wednesday, February 24

Phew, this is mentally exhausting

So as some of you know, I am currently enrolled at Univeristy. Well I am taking a Sociology class and Writing class this semester. This Sociology class is going to make me want to get fatter than I am.
Hot Fudge Something has been my saying for past few weeks.
Now we all know about some of the horrible stuff that goes on, but I guess I took for granted that it was focused on Social Problems, I thought it would be fun. It is fun, the debates and such. But I just want to eat a hot fudge something every other day. Sunday, for instantce, the day of rest, hot breakfasts, laundry, hang out with the family. Mine was spent researching the disgusting and horrible things going on in the Republic of Congo, and then spent anyalizing it and writing about what the cause is, dysfunctions, objective condtions and subjective views. Phew. I am just mentally exhausting. It happens because these poor, yet strong women are being used as toys, in this pointless war. They are having to watch 6 month old baby girls all the way up to 70 year old grandmothers get, just, I want go into detail, but violated beyond anything I can think of.
Then not to mention the first day of class we talked about aborotion and terrorism.
Man oh man.
That should have warned me right?
Don't get me wrong, in some ways I am 100% enjoying this class, I love my professor, she is one smart cookie of a lady. It is just hard sometimes, to not sit back and think, how did I know this was happening, but not truly realize this before? My mid-term was on homelessness, I knew it was a problem around the world, especially back home in the states, but besides giving them money or donate some time at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving..what do most of us do? NOTHING
Then talking about Gender issues and the on going hate crimes that still happen? Really? With all the crap that happens in this world, all the bad things and the wonderful stuff. We still need to hate someone, ruin their life, if we do not kill them for what? Wanting to be what they feel in their heart they should be? For wanting to be able to be with the man or woman they love? Who are we to judge, we dont. We are not meant to. I certaintly can not fault anyone strong enough to go with their heart.
Oh and race? OMG this is still an issue? FOR REALS? I mean, an issue on such a large social problem scale, some people are ignorant, i guess I just surround myself with open minded people and just see the race as a non issue. I have even been the minority, It is not that big of a deal. People. Come on.
NOw I have to talk about Inmate Partner Violence.
Homelessness was a tiny bit hard, cause in my 8th grade year, my family and I were. But this, Domestic Violence. Wow. Tear my viens open. Re opening the emotional scars. I have to write from a non-subjective view?
I will try
Okay not to be all downer, I am personally doing wonderful. But this class. Boy it is just gets to me sometimes
on a happier note...
37 DAYS!!
Oh and I also got alllll my retail therapy in the mail finally, well except the face stuff from Oh well though.
So soon on my other blog I will get some pictures of my feet in the shoes, not that it really makes a difference, just shows the shoes on me. Maybe once I get back to the "old me size" I will make it a fashion blog too. Not sure though. For now it will just stay on my lil feeties.
Oh and on my photo blog with one of my chicks for life, we are working at trying to find time in both our lives to start posting atleast 2x a month. I hope all you lovely bloggers are doing wonderful though.

Saturday, February 13

The Wheels on the Bus Go....

Alllll the way to SPAIN!!! Eeeeeeeekkk!

I am so stoked! Yes I said Stoked, I also say "I dig it".=)

April 2-11th we are going to Lloret de Mar, Spain.

Just wanted to post a quick note saying that. We will also be doing a day trip to Barcelona...for reals? OH MY! I will be able to say I was in Barcelona. Pinch me I have to be dreaming.

Happy Valentine's Day and Have a good Weekend.

I will be trying to, I have a mid-term to do on Saturday, but since this week has been a bit of a rough one. I plan on relaxing, pulling myself together to hit the road running next week.


Wednesday, February 10

I feel

I feel calmer around you.
that i am strong.
I am NOT my past.
my past is just a part of me
That makes me appreciate the future.

Tuesday, February 9

There it is...I can wait for it now.

It grows.
I can feel it, everyday
it is there a little longer.
Right there, almost with in

So soothing, a beautiful sight.

it's me. the strong me. the me i loved.
The me others loved.
soon it will be there all day
Everyday of every week.
until then I can wait.
Cause atleast I know it's there.

Sunday, February 7

Women's Calendar

A very dear friend of mine, got me a great 2010 desk calendar. It is famous quotes, by only women. I loove it. I love it so much. It is wonderful to start the day off by reading something a fellow gal has said. They are all famous for different reasons, each month seems to have a different theme. This weekend's one got to me. So very true.

" I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispostions and not on our circumstances"
~ Martha Washington

it really hit home with me. for several reasons.

I have been through some stuff in my life, that is all I will say. But when I start to experience rough stuff or stressful stuff the past year or two. I get so down on myself. How did I handle the past stuff so smoothly? Why don't I have the patience I had to handle the 3 kids? I use to do it without the experience I have now.

This quote says it all to me, if I feel I can not handle it..then that is why these similar circumstances are hitting me harder. This makes me want to dig more into happier with my strength. Anyways just wanted to make this a quick and short post. I hope if you read this quote and have anything similar going through can help you too. If you want the name of the calendar it is. " Words of Wisdom for Women",Avalanche Publishing.

Tuesday, February 2

Broken Record?

Do you ever feels as if you're a CD? That you don't choose what track you're on? Someone is playing you, deciding what track you should be on at that moment? I do. I especially feel as if sometimes I'm repeat. That I can almost hear the next track, the lyrics are right on the tip of my tongue, however, what it will take for me to skip ahead, to finally get to the next song? I don't know. I am still searching though, seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe one day soon, my next song will start to play.