I find it quite fitting that I am writing my FIRST "daily" Wishful Wednesday's post on the FIRST day of December. Which I think is a perfect month to have some of those materialistic wants actually filled.
Today is not an external wishful thinking or wanting on my part.
I mean for the most part.
have you guys already decorated for Christmas? Playing the music? I TOTALLY am. I looove this time of year. Just because I think it is the one time a year that people try harder to be nicer, to give more to organizations that need it all year. Basically just a time of year that I wish we could have and act like through out the rest of the year. I love doing the Sub for Santas, or whatever your mall, childs school or church might call it. One because several years growing up, would not have had a Christmas if my mom had not signed us up for it. So I always try to pay it forward or back.=) The baking, the smell of cinnamon and pine in my house. The lights, the snow, the music. I like some new versions. I have to admit, I am an oldies gal. Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, Elvis, Alvin and Chimpmunks..what?? They are oldies and classical.=)
Anways here is to the countdown and to WISHING you a very happy week, a WONDEFUL start to the month. On with my post
I AM WISHING FOR.......
the whole month off so I can bake everyday and sit in front of the fire with a good book
being near to my family and my dear friends that are pretty much like family
the smell of pine to stay in my house
that the little snow we have here will get a bit deeper and stay
motivation to be in the gym and watch what i eat..besides watching it go in my mouth.=)
to find a shelter or foster home or something for us to go donate our time to this Christmas season and show my siblings that live with me how BLESSED we are.
So that is pretty much what I am wishing for...
What are YOU wishing for?
Wednesday, December 1
I find it quite fitting that I am writing my FIRST "daily" Wishful Wednesday's post on the FIRST day of December. Which I think is a perfect month to have some of those materialistic wants actually filled.
Monday, November 15
I felt like just showing what has been on my "ear"
Yep my EAR
As in New Music
(to me anyways)
1. CRUEL BLACK DOVE
I heard them, not sure where last week, I just can not remember where...(okay FINE on Vampire Diaries that I watch with my yonger sister, to my credit I read the books when I was in jr. high so I owe it to myself to follow through with the series.)
2. BLOOD RED SHOES
Light it Up
I wish I Was Someone Better
I just found them randomly on good ole you tube. I really like there style. Plus any group that has a female rocking the guitar, bass or drums, I always end up liking it. I guess cause I have always admired women who can play those instruments since I woudl love to play those.
What has been on your "ear"?
I love to share music.
Have a good week!!!
I have give Mondays a new chance, I usually want to break up with him to go on to his better looking brother Tuesday, I mean we all want to be with the cream of the crop, Saturday and Sunday. But they are always busy right?
Thursday, October 14
Thoughts blocked in my mind,
fingers refuse to type what is needed,
mind races with thoughts that are not what is needed,
useless babble playing round and round on the merry go round in the head
feelings of happiness, anxiety, rejection, hopefullness jumping on and off the ride at randomness
What is really needed?
a steady hand with a straight and narrow path being walked in the head, fingers that will type what is needed
The sound of the constant chatter to cease, to not feel the need to always say something and then the mind on the merry go round wondering about others thoughts
say no to temptations that are bad for me, to be to focus on my goals and be healthly.
(step away from the ice cream and GO TO THE GYM type of stuff)
finish the lists I make
Just some things I am thinking all the while I should be typing in word, I have more than half of my paper left on Afterlife, a research paper, how do you prove afterlife? You can't. You can prove that people believe in it and in many different versions. But afterlife that is all based on faith. I am tackling it from christian(since that is what I am) atheisit and the Hinduism version. The research was fun, thought provoking now I need to write it, not be writing here at almost 2am. UGH. The life of a college student eh?
Oh also what should I do for my 100th post?
Posted by Alaskangal B at 1:45 AM
Monday, October 4
We have been without internet for two weeks....yes TWO WEEKS, well almost. I have been having to go to the library to do my school work and try to respond to emails. So got it up today, after the tech guy came out who fixed it after 3hrs of cussing and up and downstairs?
Love you if you said me...=)
But no, my hubby.
So for last 2hrs have been overdose'n on email, blogs, articles and facebook. So now going to watch a tv show I missed and hit the hay.
I just wanted to put that out there, we are weak in this household. LOL, seriously I had the shakes. The internet is my newsource, music, tvshows, friends, school etc etc....I possibly can not live without it.
Posted by Alaskangal B at 11:56 PM
Thursday, September 16
Hey y'all, I was just sitting over here in the ever falling rain of the Belgian fall and thinking of making some changes. I want to be able to post more frequently but, with my home life, school and work it is diffcult to do so randomly through out the week. Unless I make a theme, something I can set up ahead of time, schedule to post on certain days and then still when the mood strikes me, post a random update or whatever I am feeling.
So was thinking.... I had to be careful here, can not hurt myself right? =)
Manic Monday's: This can be random, whatever I want, what happened over the weekend, a new song, poem, funny story whatever I want
Tasty Tuesday's: I post a new thang I have cooked, an old favorite, a new recipe I have found but not tried. Will include pictures and what directions I followed or the mixings I just threw together
Wishful Wednesdays: could be internal wishing, a new pair of shoes, some items catching my eye, a dream I want to follow. Just wishful things.
Thankful Thursday: People and events I am thankful for, could be my husband, my friends, the person that let me in front of them at the checkout that week.=) Just all about being thankful. might even get deeper with a roof over my head, health care etc etc. Just thankful
and that is as far as I got...=)_
But just wanted to throw that out there, that is what I was thinking of changing up a bit.
I know BORING
Well my life is all of that lately, I am going out tommorow night, girls night. Should be a blasty blast. But got to get going, I have a mid-term today, then the gym, then a doc appt, might be real wild and get my eyebrows waxed.=)
Posted by Alaskangal B at 1:49 PM
Saturday, August 28
Alaskan country to the core
Best friend and the greatest of souls
Had love for all things Dodge or Polaris
Sweetest of men
Off key singer, yet still the best seranade I ever had.
Full of dreams and goals
Always had that little smirk of a smile and laugh that used your whole face
Never one to not say " hey dude"
Good mommas boy and not in the bad or creepy way, the that is love and respect way.
Best of older brothers
Blue eyes that looked at me and really saw me
His first lover
My first love
Never completly gone
Life is cherished
Blessed to have known him
Would have loved to see what else he would do and become
A small poem....
will I see your smiling face,
will I feel your strong firm embrace.
will I wish upon the starry skies,
will I gaze into your loving eyes.
will I feel your warm lips upon mine,
will my eyes sparkle and shine.
the streets your feet will roam,
Because Our Lord and Savior decided to take you Home.
~ These are just a few things that come to mind when I think of you, we think of you often, most especially this day, we hope you are watching us and our proud. We are love you, we miss you and we will see you one day again~
Dustin Lee Gard
May 1982- August 2001
Posted by Alaskangal B at 1:10 PM
Why is there this need on this day, that I feel the need to write? It is not as if you or those events that occured on this day 9 years ago never cross my mind at times through out the rest of the year.
But it just something about this day, that makes me feel I have to write.
To say hello? To let you know you are still in my heart, that we all miss you? To try to find a song or the words to let you know your death was not in vain? Is it to show other people that even though I moved on, I have a heart and not to think that I never loved you? To make myself feel better, to get these memories, good and horribly horribly bad down on paper or computer screen?
I think it is all of the above.
I do talk to you sometimes, I do wonder if we would have stayed together, would you have proposed to me 3 days later like you were going to, would I have said yes? If we didn't would we have stayed friends? I hope so to all of that in a way.
Since I do talk and I hope you listen, since I believe in that sort of thing. You know you are still in my heart, you are/were such a gentle soul, so corny and funny. You are deeply missed. Probally not even the most by me. You were an Alaskan country boy to the core. Your love err...more like obession for your truck was endearing and amusing at the same time.
Over the years I have found several songs to go towards how I feel/felt and to find the words for me about your death, here are some of them.
I too, in a selfish way want others to know I think about you on this day. I hope too that you were upset with those that could not see me "move on". That so rudely ended their friendship, if I even had one for reals with them to begin with. I mean 11 months is too soon? We knew each other in school, had been friends for months before we dated and then we dated for 7 months. We were 19, the whole world ahead of us and I was supposed to end my life? Have my heart die with you? A part of it did. I just find it so un fair the words that were said about me. I am so confused as to how I dishonored your memory. I hope you don't think so?
Memories. Sigh. The memories, there was a time that no good ones were there, the darkness that was in my mind and soul overpowered the good times we had. My mind replayed the night over and over again, trying to find a solution or another event that did not end up with my scars, physical and emotional, most importantly did not end up with you dead. That darkness started to spread too far, I had to stop it. The hospital vists and surgery after surgery did not help the light I was seeking to find me.
I broke down so many times, tried so hard to be normal, party, laugh, live...tried so hard to sleep at night, not to be so afraid to even use the bathroom with out the door locked. Tried so hard, that some thought it did not affect me, some thought I got over it quickly. Did they not see that was part of getting over it? Did they not see the shadows in my eyes, the desperatness in my smile? The lies in my laughs? Am I that good of an actress.
But in the end I am thankful for the battle I survived and it took a bit for me to get there, to be able to say that. I will always wonder why me? Why not him? Could he be further in life than I right now? To be fair, I am not where I wanted to be at 28, career wise. However, I can not change that, it is how it is. So I have to look at my scars and be thankful I still have my arm, eye and knee. I have to deal with the times a shadow at night or a sound makes my heart pump quick and hard and the lose of sleep that night occurs. Be thankful that I have the abilty to be scared and be thankful that no one will ever get in my house and put my life in their hands again. ever.
Sometimes this "pep" talk would work, others just empty thoughts and words to attempt to make my guilt and pain seem less.
It is weird that last year, I thought of you, wrote some words, but was okay.
This year. not so. It has been a rough week. Maybe it was from the pictures, the slideshow, it brought your face back right in front of my brain and thoughts. The good times right there in the front, which then brought the bad. Nightmares every night this week, un able to sleep till daylight, calling into my work and being sad. I had hoped those affects were done with.
this is a depressing post
I do not want that to be, I am in love, deeply with a man that I only allowed myself to start to fall in love with because of the love you gave me, the relationship we had. Thank you
I have made wonderful friends and have tons of pictures, because of our friendship and lack of pictures of our moments, I feel I cherish them all more, because of you. the loss of you. Thank you.
I have seen different countries, cultures and cherished it and lived it. Because of you.
So know that it was not your time, nothing will ever make it completly right, but your death was not in vain, those horrible moments in that event will have some sort of postive effect. Know that I am that much stronger, appriecative and more open to new things, because of your death.
Dustin, you are missed and today that longing to see you is that much stronger. That is all the reasons why I want to write on this day.
Posted by Alaskangal B at 10:00 AM
Thursday, August 26
This is "my life currently"
I wanted to get everyone caught up on my summer and the what nots of my life right now
* summer camp is as hard and fun as they all said it would be
* Italy was amazing, hot weather, hot shoes, hot people, Pisa? Overrated, but this lil ole' Alaskan is thankful I saw it
* I removed mother from her postion, she is now ole'womb, that happens when you can not call your child(ren) back after 3 months.
* I realized I read a bunch of fluff, so going to start to read more substance, like twinkies vs. brocoli
* I failed my shopping ban, going to try again in Sept or Oct. Summer just has too many good deals
* I miss the mountains
* I have the best, without a doubt husband ever
* turning 28 is not something I wanted to do, I like the sound of 27 better, but now that I am here, I will live.
* i can not find my ipod. i am dying, really. i might need to buy a new one. it was 5 years old. but ipod? Where art thou? i need you
* has fallen in love with ice cream again, hot days do that to you
* misses my girlfriends in the states, Belgium is changing so much for me, i am trying to focus on travel, but i am someone who likes to be alone, but not feel lonely. if that makes sense?
* has become hooked on DIY blogs, can not wait to move back to the states with all the thrift store finds from Europe and make a home finally. hopefully
* Is torn between wanting to stay overseas.
* is super excited about my fall classes for school.
* fell off the diet wagon, now i am chasing it right now, maybe tommorow i will get on it again
Posted by Alaskangal B at 12:55 PM
Tuesday, July 6
I have never really been into the sport.
Seen the clips on tv of LANCE ARMTSTRONG and the USA team in it.
But, we had the privelage of it coming through our local town, it has not passed through Belgium for 6yrs now.
To see how fast they go, to experience the fans, the waiting...OH the waiting.=)
It was worth it, so how many Americans can say they have seen the Tour de France FIRST HAND??
This one can.
Posted by Alaskangal B at 8:48 PM
Friday, June 18
Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly, far far away.
- Jenny, played by Robin Wright Penn, in Forest Gump,1994
I want to be free
Free to live Life
Live, Love and Laugh
Freedom from this self made
I read these blogs about un-schooling their children, no plastic, homemade everything, live in a RV and travel the country. Just live. It is all about you, God, family and country.
Smiley face is how those thoughts make me feel.
how could I do that though??
The thought of no bills, besides what it just costs you to live? Freedom
Work when you need it, not for someone else? Freedom
Debt? Nope. Freedom
Restrictions? no. Freedom
Timeline? Only what YOU WANT it to be. Freedom.
I want that. right now.
Posted by Alaskangal B at 12:00 PM
Wednesday, June 16
This little...err long thing? Is the list of things, wishes, wants, travels, feelings and events that I want to do, see, make, have etc etc..Before I am 100.
Posted by Alaskangal B at 10:52 AM
I tried I really did, if I could count textbooks or magazines I could get a good twenty more into my total.
I missed my goal by a few
okay more than
But it was fun.
This quest and love for reading has made me step out of my typical norm
has me even in a book club.(met some wicked neat ladies from it)
So I will try again. Going from August 2011-August 2012
Check out the second attempt and it's book list over here.
Otherwise check out the list below for some good reads!
1. Laura K. Hamilton, Danse Macabre, # 14 in the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series.
2. Maureen Child, The Last Lone Wolf, book in the " Kings of California" series.
1. Nora Roberts, Savor the Moment, Book three in the " Bride Quartet" series.
2. Laura K. Hamilton, Blue Moon, Book eight in the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series.
1. Anne Rice, Angel Time, Book One
1. Johanna Lindsey, That Perfect Someone, Malory family series
2. Lisa Jackson, Without Mercy
3.Kirsten Miller, The Eternal Ones
4. Tess Gerristen, Ice Cold, Rizzilo and Isles novel
5. Julia James, His Penniless Beauty
6. J.R Ward, Dark Lover, Black Dagger Brotherhood Book One
7. Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises
1. J.R Ward,"Lover Eternal", Black Dagger Brotherhood,
2 Charlene Harris. Dead to the World, Sookie Stackhouse series, Book Four
3.Charlene Harris, Dead as a Doornail, Sookie Stackhouse series, Book Five
4,Charlene Harris, From Dead to Worse, Sookie Stackhouse series, Book Eight
5. Charlene Harris, Dead and Gone, Sookie Stackhouse series, Book Nine
6. Charlene Harris, Dead in the Family, Sookie Stackhouse series,Book Ten
1. Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Lighting Thief, Book One
2. Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Titans Curse, Book Two
( Oct was a low month for me was taking three classes so most of my reading was a textbook. But I read these books with my little sister and they are cute and fun. It was a decent read and a great bonding tool)
1. Christine Feehan, Dark Slayer, Carpthain Novel, Book Twenty
2.Christine Feehan, Dark Fire, Carpthain Novel, Book Six
3.Christine Feehan, Dark Guardian, Carpthain Novel, Book Nine
4. Laura K. Hamilton, Guilty Pleasures,Anita Blake Vampire Hunter, Book One
5.Laura K. Hamilton, The Laughing Corpse, Anita Blake Vampire Hunter, Book Two
1. Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
2. Debbie Macomber, Christmas in Cedar Cove
3.Barb and C.J Hendee ,Through Stone and Sea, Book Eight in the Noble Dead Series
4. Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Battle of the Labrythin, Book Three
5. Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian, Book Four
1. Nora Roberts, Vision in White, Book One in Bride Quartet,
2. Nora Roberts, Happy Ever After, Book Four in Bride Quartet,
3. Nora Roberts, Bed of Roses, Book Two in Bride Quartet,
4. Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven
1.Kathryn Stockett, The Help(Book Club)
2. Jennifer Weiner, Fly Away Home
3. MaryJanice Davidson,Undead and Unwed, Bestsy Taylor Series, Book One
4.MaryJanice Davidson, Undead and Unemployed, Bestsy Taylor Series, Book Two
5.MaryJanice Davidson, Undead and Underappriecated, Bestsy Taylor Series, Book Three
6.MaryJanice Davidson, Undead and Unpopular, Bestsy Taylor Series, Book Four
7. MaryJanice Davidson,Undead and Unfinished, Bestsy Taylor Series, Book Nine
1. Sara Gruen,Water for Elephants(Book Club)
2.Jane Feather, To Wed a Wicked Prince
3.Laura K Hamilton, Circus of the Damned,Anita Blake Vampire Hunter, Book Three
4.Laura K. Hamilton,The Lunatic Cafe, Anita Blake Vampire Hunter, Book Four
1. Eric Schlosser, Fast Food Nation:The Darkside to the All American Meal(Book Club)
2. Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, Skinny Bitch
3. Gail A. Eisnitz,Slaughter House: The shocking Story of greed, neglect and inhumane treatment inside the U.S Meat Industry
4.Laura K Hamilton, Bloody Bones,Anita Blake Vampire Hunter, Book Five
5.Laura K Hamilton,The Killing Dance, Anita Blake Vampire Hunter, Book Six
1. Tatiana de Rosnay, Sarah's Key(Book Club)- started end of May/Finished in June
2.Laura K, Hamilton, Anita Blake Vampire Hunter, Book Seven
3.Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave, Night Huntress Series, Book One.
4.Jeaniene Frost, One Foot in the Grave,Night Huntress Series, Book Two
Posted by Alaskangal B at 12:37 AM
Sunday, June 13
" Be thankful for what you have: you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough"
" If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don't have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it's not enough."
These two quotes found me at two different times, yet carry the basic message. Be thankful for the now, quit fretting about the past. Be happy with your life, not look for something that is better. I have some friends going through some rough patches in many different parts of their very different lives. But I just want to share these two quotes with all of them.
You are a strong, amazing woman, you can get past this, you have had worse? Right? Do not let this be the thing that breaks you. If you break, just know I will be there to help pick up the pieces. Do not be ashamed for these feelings, you are still you and YOU are FANTASTIC!!
Posted by Alaskangal B at 10:00 AM
Thursday, June 3
Posted by Alaskangal B at 2:22 PM
Friday, May 28
Posted by Alaskangal B at 9:02 AM
Friday, May 14
That's right I am mad at a fairy..
The one none of us like, the sickness fairy, that little hefer came and beat me with her wand of germs.
Your parents never read you that bedtime story? She is not a very well liked fairy.
I would feel bad for her, if she did not make me sick.
All this week I have been sick...
Monday and Tuesday- Swollen throat and painful to talk-which for normal people sucks, for someone with the motor skills I have?? Devastating!!
Weds- I think I can talk, so I do. It just makes me sound like Rejected wanna-be Tara Reid.
Thurs- Start coughing up nasty yet sexy stuff. Oh joy!
* I miss the kids at my work, I want to talk normal, I have lots of reading on blogs to catch up on and posting some Spain pics, some recent shoe pics etc. I am so lacking.
So I will try next week.
Have a good weekend you healthly brats!
Posted by Alaskangal B at 10:04 AM
Monday, April 12
Spain in a few short words in a few short mins I have.
-Even Sunblock did not prevent my white skin from getting pink
-Glass bottom boat tour in the Meditrrean?? Amazing
-HIking through Roman Ruins...spectactular
-Not having to work for a week? Priceless!!
-Once again seeing how crazy the brits can get....funny
I will be writing some more soon and posting some pictures.
Posted by Alaskangal B at 8:05 PM
Tuesday, March 23
Wednesday, March 17
To think that this time last year, we were in Dublin, Ireland.
NOT this year. Not for who knows how long will we just go on a random trip and let loose.
We do not need to party or anything all the time. Just saying that these past two weeks, realized exactly what we got ourselves into, or what I got us into. I love my siblings, with all my heart and more. BUt I know now, I bit of more than I can chew.
Soo I am telling myself
Bubble Baths..and just breathe....
Happy St. Patty's Day to anyone who is " Irish for the day" or like me Irish by ancestors.
Posted by Alaskangal B at 11:01 PM
Sunday, March 14
Posted by Alaskangal B at 2:58 PM
Wednesday, March 3
Posted by Alaskangal B at 12:18 PM
Monday, March 1
The bloggers that I choose are going to be.....
1. Lisa over at Love, Lisa
for always leaving comments and taking an interest
2. Georgia over at it's just how I see things
captureing pretty things in in your darkest hours
3. Claire over at Claire B
for always writing beautiful words that just flow with your amazing photos
4. Jamie over at Umbrella Blog
always stopping by to say hello and capturing the right moments on film
5. London over at Blog Fashion
she always inspires me with her amazin taste and ability to pair the right colors
I would like to give it to more girls too, but i will just stick to 5 and will find another award to give to some more people.
Thanks for checking back in.
Wednesday, February 24
Posted by Alaskangal B at 10:38 AM
Saturday, February 13
Alllll the way to SPAIN!!! Eeeeeeeekkk!
I am so stoked! Yes I said Stoked, I also say "I dig it".=)
April 2-11th we are going to Lloret de Mar, Spain.
Just wanted to post a quick note saying that. We will also be doing a day trip to Barcelona...for reals? OH MY! I will be able to say I was in Barcelona. Pinch me I have to be dreaming.
Happy Valentine's Day and Have a good Weekend.
I will be trying to, I have a mid-term to do on Saturday, but since this week has been a bit of a rough one. I plan on relaxing, pulling myself together to hit the road running next week.
Wednesday, February 10
I feel calmer around you.
that i am strong.
I am NOT my past.
my past is just a part of me
That makes me appreciate the future.
Tuesday, February 9
I can feel it, everyday
it is there a little longer.
Right there, almost with in
So soothing, a beautiful sight.
it's me. the strong me. the me i loved.
The me others loved.
soon it will be there all day
Everyday of every week.
until then I can wait.
Cause atleast I know it's there.
Sunday, February 7
A very dear friend of mine, got me a great 2010 desk calendar. It is famous quotes, by only women. I loove it. I love it so much. It is wonderful to start the day off by reading something a fellow gal has said. They are all famous for different reasons, each month seems to have a different theme. This weekend's one got to me. So very true.
" I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispostions and not on our circumstances"
~ Martha Washington
it really hit home with me. for several reasons.
I have been through some stuff in my life, that is all I will say. But when I start to experience rough stuff or stressful stuff the past year or two. I get so down on myself. How did I handle the past stuff so smoothly? Why don't I have the patience I had to handle the 3 kids? I use to do it without the experience I have now.
This quote says it all to me, if I feel I can not handle it..then that is why these similar circumstances are hitting me harder. This makes me want to dig more into myself...be happier with my strength. Anyways just wanted to make this a quick and short post. I hope if you read this quote and have anything similar going through head..it can help you too. If you want the name of the calendar it is. " Words of Wisdom for Women",Avalanche Publishing.
Posted by Alaskangal B at 2:15 PM
Tuesday, February 2
Posted by Alaskangal B at 10:45 AM
Sunday, January 17
I need to fix this, get my juices flowing again. I have been on a break obviously.=)
But now I am taking a break, to re vamp this up, find my focus on it. Get in a balance of my personal life(my husband, school, work and my siblings/kids) and my me time.
I have lost some readers because of me being gone, feel like I lost the flow of some amazing peoples blogs and where their life is going. So here is the to the next few months of getting that all back and then some.
I hope your 2010 has started off grandly. Please, please stay tuned.
Posted by Alaskangal B at 2:13 PM