Today

" Every day is a gift, life is not a given right, live each day as if it were your last"


Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.


Today always makes me think that way, remember back when this day 8 years ago I did think it was my last day, all the things I had left un said, had yet to do.

This day makes me grateful, humble, angry, very angry actually...and always puts me in deep thought. I think of him and that horrible night often, but most especially on today.~I never know what to write sometimes, should I express on this day all the horror, anger, depression, guilt, and horrible never ending sadness I felt? Should I just write a few lines of happy things that remind me of you? Just put a video, with a song playing that makes me think of you?? Do you care? Can you hear me? maybe I should write of the physical pain I went through, all the operations and physica therapy?? I think I will just write a few happy lines..

8 years ago, it seems so much longer, we all had to adapt, learn to live with this thing, this loss, the blackhole that was shoved into our lives. It helped some of us bond and drove others apart. No matter what though we all loved you through it. Just a few things I wanted to tell you..


.~ Thank you for loving me, thank you for wanting me to be the first, because of your love, I was able to accept anothers~

~ You chose me, I will remember that. Always~

~ I actually like that damn song you used to make me listen to, so I hope you laugh when you see me sing a long~

~If you can actually see and hear us, I hope you smile and are proud~

~ Porn Stores, Village Inn, Fireworks and laughter so hard it hurts your belly will make me think of you, our gang and the good times we all miss~

~ YOu really should not have put that costume on, I mean come on it was JJ's~

~ Ford Rules..Dodges Drool..sorry D, BUT I will always, always smile when I see A Dakota Sport~

~ I wonder if you really would have gotten a Polaris tattoo? You were such an Alaskan boy to the core~

~ I have never had as good of sloppy joes as you made that night

~When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran


RIP DUSTIN GARD 1982-2001

Survive

" I will not bow, I will not break, I will shut the world away, I will not fall I will not fade and I will survive"

~Breaking Benjerman~

Song: I will not bow 2009

Editors Note: Some of the other posts I have written with out any reference to who they are from is because I was trying to test you..well not test.but was curious if others had heard them. I went and added where I got them from.

Have a great Hump Day.

Friends

"There comes a point in your life when you realize: Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore... And who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past,there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future"

I have been wanting to write a lot lately, but I have been doing so in my own personal journal. Because the thoughts have been a bit to personal I think. So I have been getting random quotes or song lyrics and posting them. This is from an email I have got before. It is so true.

I am blessed with the friends I have, I need to stop putting so much effort into the ones that I start to drift from. I feel I have to be best friends with everyone, the one everyone loves, the one that can fix everyones problems, and make them laugh. I need to get over that. To realize the greatness I had with them in the past and just realize we drifted apart and that it is okay to do that. It is not like we broke up or had a fight.

I need to stop holding friends to my expectations, some people just do not communicate the way I do. I just do not understand how you can write a long thing to someone asking about them, telling about yourself. They reply with something totally different, always just about them and that is it. They have phone conversations only about them and then get off the phone. It is okay, to do that, but not ALWAYS. You have to have a two way street. To me that means times it is about you, times it is about them and then the wonderful times you just are laughing, teasing joking and interuptting each other cause you are so happy to talk to them.

But even saying that, even how much it kinda hurts me to see someone update their status 4x a day, comment to other people and yet not respond. Not realize I was there for them, and this is a stressful time for me. Why are they not there for me? I get pissed at myself for acting like this, basically a girl, then I get pissed that I am pissed.=)

It is not fun being all emotional sometimes, anyways I was not there for them to have them come back and re pay the favor, I hope someone will be there for me, but if they are not I need to not get butt hurt, no matter what I am always there, sooo why have the times in between were I just mitch and moan about the way they act. That is just them, I should accept them. Even if I do not not like all the traits. right?

I hope this does not make me seem self centered, I just have been thinking about friends a lot, all the different types out there, really missing my friends and have not been talking to them a lot since "life" is getting in our way. So was feeling down. Here I wanted to just post a meaningful quote and I went and put something personal that seems a bit High Schoolish. If you read this far...sorry about that ramble.

Happy Thursday!!!

~B~

Loyal

" Wars come and go, but my soilders remain eternal"



Editors Note: You gotta love TUPAC....some people do not like him because of his enviorment he grew up in and choose to stay in, the way he choose to express himself. But I tell you what you sit back and listen to his actual lyrics, some are really moving. It is like a post I did once about a song that was so pretty, till I learned what it was about,music is a great thing..sometimes taking the music out of it and just reading the words is the best way to feel what the artist was trying to say though.

Love

Immature love says "I love you because I need you." Mature love says "I need you because I love you."

Editors Note: I got this off of a card I got, so not sure who the author is.

Tonight

" When I bow my head tonight, it's not gonna be me, myself or I"


Editors Note; This is from a Trace Adkins Song. Talking about not praying for himself, just his wife and kids, about learning what is the important things in life.

Backyard Beauty

Just some quick snapshots of an amazing, spectacular sunset from my backyard. I posted one yesterday. So here are the rest, these are raw. Unedited in anyways. This just captures the beauty of nature. Hope you are having a great week, lots of bloggy love sent to y'all

~B~

Simply Suprising

That is something that I think of when I think of women.

Women who work full time, do the gym, do their hobbies and still are amazing mothers.

Women who always have a smile on their face, even through sickness and stress

Women who do what it takes to make sure their loved ones are okay

Then after all that, when a normal person should have no more strength

They do a little bit more.

That is why women are just simply suprising

I am honored to be able to call myself one, errr well kinda.=)

Happy Tuesday

hugs,

Bridgette

Rewind

So remember that lovely 20 some odd things to do this week? Well let's recap and see what I exactly did shall we???



I did try to get my car inspection done, but THEY FAILED ME. Because my battery is a little loose. Yeppers, that is the ONLY reason...:::rolls eyes:::::. Then I hung up one load of laundry, so have a huge pile of clean clothes on my spare bed. I kinda worked out this week but not really, I did not make a weekly meal plan. I did make some awesome food though.=)



I did make the calls to my mom and Shirley. Did not do the gym last week, not even once. Unless you count walking the dogs. But have done the gym this week. So cross my fingers I keep my willpower this week. I got wrapped up in my books, lol. That is just me. I am unashamed of it.

I am registered for Human Biology, Human Biology Lab and then US History 1865-Present,plus got my books ordered. I did not know as well on my grammar final as I had hoped. I did not mail ANY boxes...I am fired. But if you are my friend or family member waiting for a package, you are used to it. I also did not do Rosetta Stone. Maybe I should not make lists anymore. That way..I do not fail.

Anyways off here for now, gotta do some chores, then head off to the gym.



.

This or That...

Procrastination should be my middle name. Why? Well because I should be writing my Compare-Contrast Essay from Grammar class due at Midnight EST. Which for those of you trying to figure the time difference are 6 is my time here in Belgium. “But Bridgette, you knew this was due for weeks, are you not almost done”? You say? Hahahahaha try just an outline, I picked a topic, wrote and outline…then focused on other stuff, and now it is 11pm on Sunday night and I need to write it,

BUT WHAT AM I DOING YOU ASK?

I had not had a chance to read everyone’s lovely blogs this week, soooo caught up on that. I updated pictures to my MySpace and facebook, (very important) as well to our shutterfly website. Got a bit excited because I have tons more lamp post pictures now from this last trip to London, I will get that book of European Lamp Posts made for sure. I jumped for joy when I realized I did not have to paint tomorrow (we have been painting our kitchen, another post for another time), worried about my loved ones by listening to Buddha Bar and going inside my mind with my thoughts…not a safe place sometimes.=) BTW for those who have not heard Buddha Bar…look the cds up, listen to the tracks, then buy them cause I know you will love them.
I also realized that I have 4 pairs of shoe pictures to post on my other blog, which by thinking of that got me really excited because I can shop again. MY ONLINE SHOPPING BAN IS OVER….I can start looking at shoes again, but after paying for the kid’s lawyer...well that is just a dream=)
So after all that I should be able to focus on my essay right? Hmmm nope…so started adding to my “100 Things to do before I die list”, read some of my latest book “Marker”, by Robin Cook, played some Mario Kart WII with Ryon…I won in case you had any doubt.
So now...after all that I am writing a post since been over 2 weeks since I had, and this post is as boring, jumping and pointless as my procrastination from this essay. SO I guess I will sign off with my list of 20 things on my mind for this upcoming week, which will be a busy first week of August.

You all have a lovely, lovely rest of your Sunday Night. If you read through all this jumbled nonsense, you are a kind soul.

1. I have to get my cars CT done tomorrow(emissions, brakes etc)
2. Got lots of laundry to hang up and put away
3. Gym everyday this week…MUST DO IT
4. Need to make my weekly meal plan(helps me eat right)
5. Call my mom and Shirley, let them know the airfare I found out
6. Got to follow my chore list, and not let the house slack
7. Try to not get to wrapped up in my novels, function in the real world.
8. Have that big grammar class final this week, even though the class ends in 2 weeks MUST STUDY
9. Make sure my fall classes books have been ordered
10. Stop everyday and Thank God and my loved ones for my life and my many blessings, no matter the stressful time
11. Work on not getting offended when people CONSTANTLY tease me about my poor sportiness(is that a word) or call me crazy or say I scare them playing games, I know they do not mean it the way I take it..(when I really just want to never play games with them again, since I really do not get crazy, I dislike that word immensely, after everything in my life…I could really be the officially term of crazy..But I am not. At least never been diagnosed, I admit I am a poor sport, but I do nothing to scare people…If I do and you are reading this let me know…quit teasing me.
12. Realized 11 is waaay to long =)
13. Help Ryon with the yard work, since he did not do this weekend , because I asked him not to
14. Try to get a box or two mailed from the GAZILLION we have to mail off.
15. Do Rosetta Stone 3x this week, to keep practicing my French
16. Do something for me everyday, bubble bath, face mask, scented candle and a breathing exercise..etc
17. Talk my boys for a walk 3x this week, they have been neglected due to other stress factors.
18. Try to catch up with friends in the states this week
19. Go pick some blackberries and try to make home-made jam
20. Love life